Coaching the Munchkins

[CpUltravox]

If this gets moved, I understand, but I'm not sure where it goes...

I'd love to solicit some advice from the bright baseball minds on here.

One of my hobbies is, once a week, I coach a little 3-6 year old girls softball team. I don't have any kids, nor am I married, so dealing with kids has taken me a few months to get accustomed to, and now in my third year of this, I think I'm pretty good at it.

Anyway, each week we learn a little more, and we're getting better, but I've got some problems that I hope some others who have coached have gone through...

1) Unruly parents. I've coached tournament teams, and for older kids, the coach can lay down the law with the parents. With the little kids, I can't really do that, nor can I threaten the parents with taking the kids off the team. This year I've already had a fight break out between a pair of my parents and an opposing coach.
2) Teaching kids little rules of the game. For instance, once they turn 7 the training wheels are off. Balls, strikes, walks... the whole bit. How do you get that 6-7 year old kid to have plate patience? Force outs are difficult to explain.

It's my main job to make sure they have fun - and I make sure they do. To keep them interested in baseball enough to take it up as a lifelong endeavor. It seems that when I was small, I loved the game. Is there something I'm missing? Do parents take the love away and try to make it a sport too quickly? Is baseball just too boring for kids?

Anyway, if anyone out therewho has coached baseball before has any advice, tips, tricks, stories... please share them!

[qtlaw]

I am a parent of 1 and 3 yr old boys and look forward to their participation (if they choose.) I have been taking my older one to the local playground where the 6-8 yr. olds were playing and I was appalled at some coaches who yell and scream at the kids and actually try to win the games. In my opinion, that is the worst message to teach the youngsters.

My only advice to you is that the most important rule with young kids is that they need to know that they are loved, by their parents, family and significant others, like teachers and coaches. To me yelling and screaming does not qualify as love. Encouragement, letting them know that they tried hard and did something good is what I hope you convey to your players. Positive reinforcement and encouragement tells them that when they go to play, they will have a good time and be around some one who cares, not a bad time where they get yelled at.

I had the good fortune of playing on some great baseball teams and I never had a screamer, yeller for a coach. My coaches taught the fundamentals, let you know what was right and wrong, let you know that bad plays would not be rewarded, but that mistakes happen.

As for the parents, let them know that they are a detriment to the other players and they should be removed from the premises. Good luck and I hope my boys get someone who cares like you.

[cubfan33]

On 1) just don't take any crap. After my team beat another team by the mercy rule, an opposing coach slashed my tires. That finally drove me out of coaching and into only working with kids who had some pitching needs on a consultant basis. If you have unruly parents at a 3-6 yr old level, they need some serious perspective.

2) My force out drill for small kids. Set up bases about ten feet apart in the normal pattern. Then play 'merry go round' - the kids walk, trying to maintain the same distance between themselves as they go around the bases. Now, take one away and have the kids only move when someone gets to the right distance to "push" them. Works fairly well, but not foolproof.

On plate discipline, tee hitting works pretty well. Move the tee in and out, up and down (if possible) and show them how hard it is to hit inside and outside pitches and high and low.
Do NOT try soft toss with kids below twelve. It just doesn't work!
If you can, a pitching machine, even at that age, can help as well, esp the ones that toss wiffles.

[Skip]

QT - I dont get your problem with parents who want to win. That is the nature of the beast, so long as the parents keep perspective and realize it is NOT the end-all and don't abuse their, or other, kids.

I've coached little league boys (ages 5-9) off and on for about 5 years and must say that it is funner/easier/more rewarding than coaching soccer (which I've done a lot) or basketball (which I've done only once).. Parents are always a big issue, but I've been lucky enough to have a good mix, at least so far.

My biggest problem, at least in terms of *cringe* factor, is baserunning. All we do is pound on listening tothe 1B coach when on first or going to first; listening to the 3B coach afterwards; but the kids just run like crazy without even a heads up to the coach!! I'm serious - this cost us two games this year, and 12-5 would have been much better then 10-7.

Also, I do yell at the kids. I don't think I am abusive, but do yell to let them know it is serious and to get their attention. I dont think I go over the top, but some parents probably think so from time to time. I try to keep perspective.

[ChrisCary]

I always liked the "yellers" the best and since I was a little kid the phrase I hate more than any other is, "It's not whether you win or lose..."

Then what the hell am I playing for?


Maybe a meeting with the parents is called for, let them know what you expect from the kids and your team and what you expect from parents - if they are told what's acceptable maybe they can police themselves.


When I was a kid I had a coach named Kris who once a month would take us to his house and we'd watch a game the whole time discussing what was going on, what was done rigth, what was done wrong, etc..
I think that helped me comprehend those "little things".

[CpUltravox]

I'd probably hire a lawyer, case supervisor, and a policeman to make sure I wan't accused of anything before I invited 11 4-6 year old girls into my apartment.

[qtlaw]

My response to Skip's "I dont get your problem with parents who want to win. That is the nature of the beast, so long as the parents keep perspective and realize it is NOT the end-all and don't abuse their, or other, kids" is that 3-6 year olds need to learn the beauty of the game first, team comraderie, self-identity, not win at all costs. Winning can and will come later. Being the winner of your 3-6 year old league does not guarantee, or even correlate, to being a MLB or HOF player. Parents who push at 3-6 will end up with disillusioned kids.

[Skip]

Heck QT, I guess I misinterpreted your earlier remarks. In my league we dont even keep score till the kids are 6. But, and I'm sure its true for you too, the kids DO keep score even if the adults are pooh-poohing it. Again, there's nothing wrong with playing to win, so long as it is in the framework of the team and good sportsmanship.

[spitball]

When I coached my son's coach-pitch team I was a yeller. Not an angry yeller but I would raise my voice to get their attention.
Some parents thought I was being harsh to their little boo boos. Others thought it was cool.
The kids all loved it because they knew that I liked all of them and we had a good time.
I've stated this on another thread . The parents are the hardest to deal with. It's a real challenge to your people skills.
I hope you keep it up though because it's really a cool thing that you're doing.

[Max Power]

Regarding the parents - Just kindly remind them, in a mellow, even, tone - - -

"Your behavior is stressing both your child and the children of others here, whether you realize it or not. We are here for the benefit of the children. In order to support that goal, please consider your actions. Thank you."

If they come back with "Don't tell me what to do" or "Don't tell me that I'm stressing my kid" - - - again, calmly, say to them "I will not debate you. Thank you for taking the time to consider my request" - and then just ignore them - because they will never get it.

On the "learning" - repetition is the mother of skill.
Just make them go thru drills until they start to get it.

[Skip]

Regarding behavior, I am very blunt with the parents and the kids, right up front, even when coaching a little teeny kids team. For the most part they seem to appreciate it and I haven't had big problems during any regular season. I've had parents get really down on their own kid, and have politely asked them "what's the deal", but haven't had large public problems with anyone. But, as coach you need to be willing to jump on any potential problems right away, before they become an issue in the bleachers. I spend the vast majority of my time trying to build the kids up; I dont need parents tearing all that down - that's when I get truly pissed. Amazing that I've lasted this long as a coach without being ousted.

[moose]

i feel that if my child is in the top 3 in EqA on the team, i have the right to yell at other, underperforming kids.

(:D)

[sweaver]

Yeah, what Max and Skip said. You gotta remind parents sometimes, that this is for the kids, and at that age they just want to run around and play. Keeping score before age 6 is just ludicrous.

Let 'em play. They aren't ready, at that age, to understand a lot of the rules. It's too advanced in concept for them to understand. Can the coaches be out on the field? They should. When the ball is hit, run, and stop when the coach says stop. Parents should hold themselves to encouragement like "Run!" and "Way to go!"

[qtlaw]

Moose,

Call me naive, I really hope you are being facetious. A parent should NEVER be allowed to yell at someone else's kid.

[TGwynn19]

Originally posted by qtlaw
Moose,

Call me naive, I really hope you are being facetious. A parent should NEVER be allowed to yell at someone else's kid.

QT, you're still fairly new here....NOTHING Moose says is serious. I'd say take it with a grain of salt, but I hate wasting salt.:D

[moose]

Originally posted by qtlaw
Moose,

Call me naive, I really hope you are being facetious. A parent should NEVER be allowed to yell at someone else's kid.
sorry for being less clear about that.... YES, i was being facetious (see TG's post :)). I should have displayed the (:D) more prominently.

btw, i'd take your comment a step further - a parent shouldn't be allowed to yell at THEIR kid (in a negative manner) when on the field. in your own house, do what you want... but it sets a bad example for the kids and other parents.

[Skip]

Originally posted by qtlaw
A parent should NEVER be allowed to yell at someone else's kid. You need to be clearer about what you mean by this. I yell every game ... things like "Heads up Timmy", "Watch for the steal Jason", "Move to your left Stanley ... no, the other left", and "C'mon guys, call for the ball". IMO that's world's different from berating a kid, even though a "Heads up" can come off that way if someone wants to take it so.

[spitball]

skip, I wish you would have been my co-coach man.

[Skip]

Originally posted by spitball
skip, I wish you would have been my co-coach man. Thanks, I think.

[spitball]

Originally posted by Skip
Thanks, I think.
My co-coach for my son's coach pi6tch team was going through a nasty divorce and was a wreck. AND he didn't know a THING about baseball.If his son did bad it was my fault for putting him at a position he couldn't play. Nevermind that his kid was a brat and had not a hint of the sports gene.
All in all a good time was had by all. :rolleyes: