Fleet N. Ema
02-28-2002, 12:41 PM
10. Ken Griffey Jr. stopped aging emotionally on his ninth birthday.
9. Benito Santiago has been dead eight years.
8. Bud Selig complains to USA Today that it’s the Players Association’s fault for the unprecedented upward spiral in players’ ages and demands a chronology cap in the next CBA.
7. Luis Polonia is shocked to find out that his last five girlfriends were actually older than him.
6. On August 25, 1966, a zombie rose from the dead and began terrorizing the living. He also played rightfield for the Indians, White Sox, and Orioles when not feeding off the living.
5. Lou Gehrig faked his death in 1941, he now runs a music studio out of Battle Creek Michigan where he and Elvis record alternative music. When not there, they tour as one half of KISS.
4. When Gord Ash traded for Carlos Garcia, he accepted Garcia’s library card with the words “I’m 23 years old” written in purple crayon as his birth certificate.
3. A poster on Netshrine named nyy26wc is actually a 79 year old Central American freedom fighter looking for a government to overthrow when he’s not doing ATM’s.
2. Rey Ordonez admits that even though he’s 31, he still hits like a six-year-old.
1. These are not new gags, but were used by Abner Doubleday in his Prehistorical Abstract.
Best Regards
John
9. Benito Santiago has been dead eight years.
8. Bud Selig complains to USA Today that it’s the Players Association’s fault for the unprecedented upward spiral in players’ ages and demands a chronology cap in the next CBA.
7. Luis Polonia is shocked to find out that his last five girlfriends were actually older than him.
6. On August 25, 1966, a zombie rose from the dead and began terrorizing the living. He also played rightfield for the Indians, White Sox, and Orioles when not feeding off the living.
5. Lou Gehrig faked his death in 1941, he now runs a music studio out of Battle Creek Michigan where he and Elvis record alternative music. When not there, they tour as one half of KISS.
4. When Gord Ash traded for Carlos Garcia, he accepted Garcia’s library card with the words “I’m 23 years old” written in purple crayon as his birth certificate.
3. A poster on Netshrine named nyy26wc is actually a 79 year old Central American freedom fighter looking for a government to overthrow when he’s not doing ATM’s.
2. Rey Ordonez admits that even though he’s 31, he still hits like a six-year-old.
1. These are not new gags, but were used by Abner Doubleday in his Prehistorical Abstract.
Best Regards
John